Max was sitting on my couch as I finished the last few paragraphs of a penny dreadful. I finished it, hit “save” and “exit” and turned around.

“Do you remember back in September, we were talking about the Chinese holding all that paper on the US of A for trillions of dollars and you asked me how one nation forecloses on another?" Max asked.

“Yes, I do,” I replied brightly. “Do you have a hopeful answer for how we get out of that situation?”

“I think I have the answer,” Max said, frowning. “However, it’s not hopeful.”

“Oh?”

“Oh!” he repeated, then chuckled. “That’s about the size of it. If you’ll recall we were talking about the heathen Chinee holding all that debt and growing increasingly uneasy because we were printing more and more money.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember,” I said, growing increasingly uneasy. You think they might resent being paid off in worthless greenbacks?”

“That’s about the size of it. Well, I’ve been pondering that and I’ve been asking a few questions from some folks I know that are savvy about large amounts of money.”

“Whad’ya learn?”

“I learned we may be in deep kimchee, my friend,” he answered, looking unhappy.

“Shall I pour us each a tipple of cognac before you answer that?” I asked, feeling the need.

“Indeed! I think I can use one.”

I poured us a couple and sat back to hear what he had to say.

Max held up his right hand, fingers folded.

“The U.S. Geological Survey says the Chukchi Sea off Alaska holds more than anyone thought — 1.6 trillion cubic feet of undiscovered gas, which is 30% of the world's supply.”

A finger extended.

“That same sea also holds 83 billion barrels of oil, 4% of the globe’s resources.”

Another finger.

“The Green River Formation, Colorado , Utah and Wyoming has been called the " Persia of the West." It’s the largest known oil shale deposit in the world, holding from 1.5 trillion to 1.8 trillion barrels of crude.”

Another finger.

‘And there’s the Outer Continental Shelf, 21 billion barrels of oil.”

Another finger!

Then there is ANWAR, another 80 billion barrels.”

“The thumb extended. He pushed his open hand at me and growled, “All told, enough energy to drive a superpower’s machines for decades, enough to conquer the world and gain riches beyond all dreams of avarice.”

“Max, are you telling me…”

“Yes, I am. When the time comes to pay off that debt, our crippled GDP won’t come anywhere near covering it. But what we can do is give China the lease on those energy deposits to pay off our debt. In other words, we’d lose what belongs to us and what should have made this country rich, and it will go to enrich another power, one whose ruthlessness and contempt for human life is notorious.”

“That’s horrifying, Max,” I blurted, “Surely not!”

“We have been importing foreign oil for decades and, at the same time, our politicians have been moaning and groaning that phony mantra about ‘ending our dependency on foreign oil.’ But what did we do about it? Jimmy Carter established another useless bureaucracy to end that dependence that our fearless leaders were so proud to moan about. But have we drilled and exploited that oil and that gas? Hell no! And why were we saving it? We may have our answer.”

I slapped my forehead. “ China and India just signed a pact that says take your emission controls, civilized world, and shove it!” I said.

“They don’t care,” Max said. “Why would they even hesitate to take and use our energy?”

“You’re starting another conspiracy story, Max. You’re almost as bad as the liberals with W’s dynamiting the Twin Towers .”

“Let’s hope I’m crazy as hell,” he said.

#

That night, I woke at 4:00 am as usual and another grinning demon had joined my regulars. And I thought I already had too many to wrestle.

Max walked in with a newspaper clipping in his hand. He handed it to me and here it is: It is from The New York Times.

MOSCOW —threatening Tehran now with harsh new sanctions to further negotiations over its nuclear program would be “counterproductive,” Russia’s foreign minister said Tuesday, throwing cold water on the Obama administration’s hopes for a powerful ally in the global campaign to pressure Iran.

The minister, Sergey V. Lavrov, said after meeting with Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton here that diplomacy should be given a chance to work, particularly after a meeting in Geneva earlier this month in which the Iranian government said it would allow United Nations inspectors to visit a clandestine nuclear enrichment facility near the holy city of Qum.

“At the current stage, all forces should be thrown at supporting the negotiating process,” he said. “Threats, sanctions, and threats of pressure in the current situation, we are convinced, would be counterproductive.”

"It didn't work," Max said. "We dumped our buddies' missile shields for nothing."

"Did you expect anything else?" I asked.

"No, I didn't. If you'll recall, I was one of those who expressed doubt."

"Yes, I recall," I replied. "Can you answer me one question?"

"Sure."

"Since the missile shields were to be defensive in nature, and directed toward Iran, why did the Russians object to them? Were they afraid that they might be inconvenienced if their future plans included atomizing the Poles and the Czechs?"

"Hard to say," Max replied. "The Russians don't think like we do."

"That's an understatement," I said. " For example, if I wanted to impose a new political system on the US of A, it would never have occured to me to murder 40 million of my fellow Americans to do it."

"How considerate of you!"

"Democracy just teaches us to be more polite, doesn't it, doesn't it?" I asked.

"Indeedy," he replied.

Max came swaggering in the door with that smile on his face. I knew he had come up with something and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. As he sat down on my couch, I asked, “Okay, what respected institution or belief system are you about to destroy?”

Max smiled and asked, “Do you remember when we looked at that editorial about China getting ahead of us turning green? The writer likened it to another ‘Sputnik.’”

“Sure,” I remember. “Whazup?”

“The Chinese were giving the Greens something to celebrate to get them off their backs, but it was a con.”

Max held up what looked like a fax. “You will no doubt recall that China ’s Climate Commissar said recently (reading from the fax), ‘ China attaches great importance to tackling climate change.’”

“Sure.”

“Here’s the way they intend to do it. The Chinese, our good trading partners, have promised to lower their energy consumption ‘per unit of GDP,’ gross domestic product. That’s weasel wording. What they mean is they promise to get richer. Energy consumption per GDP always falls as the country gets richer.”

“So they are lying with statistics, like congress?”

“You nailed it. It’s like the poorest countries in Africa spending 100% of their GDP on food, the most primitive form of energy. On the other hand, Bill Gates’ per unit of household GDP is the lowest consumption of energy on the planet.”

I laughed, and said, “I gotcha. I see how the trick works now.”

Max was warming to his subject and went on enthusiastically. “Carbon emissions per unit of GDP follow the same curve. China ’s are about twice as high as ours, Africa ’s about three times as high. But the global climate doesn’t care one way or the other, because the same amount of crap is going into the atmosphere while we are feeling all warm and cozy because the emissions per unit of GDP are falling. A fool’s paradise.”

Max got up and walked across the room in his excitement. “The Chinese also say they will increase the proportion of renewable energy by 10% by 2010. What they really mean is that they will go on burning the stuff poor people burn until they get rich.”

“How does that work?”

“We’re talking burning biomass here,” Max said. “Biomass accounts for less than 4% of the energy supply in the developed world, about 2% in this country, but about 10% of the global supply. They are burning wood and other biomass but calling it renewable. But calling it that doesn’t mean they are lowering the carbon output. And since there is no way to keep track of twigs, cow patties, and rice husks a billion peasants burn, Chinas statisticians can make it all come out the way they want.”

“So they aren’t shutting down any of those coal-burning generating plants?” I asked.

“What do you think?” he asked sarcastically.

“Ah, I see.”

“And here’s something to take to bed with you,” Max gushed. “The Chinese brag that they have been shutting down ‘Small thermal power-generation units.’ Sure they have. They’ve replaced thousands of small diesel power generators with big coal-fired plants. Big central power plants burn much cheaper fuel more efficiently, and therefore generate cheaper power and thereby boost energy consumption, emissions and GDP even faster.”

“So all those Op-Eds about China ‘leading the way’ were based on baloney and meant to pave the way for carbon legislation,” I said in disgust.

“Your ability to find the bottom line has not diminished,” Max said, “despite your advancing age.”

“Thank you, I think.

“Here’s the kicker,” Max whispered. “Here in this country we have been reforesting since the 1920s and currently are sucking about two thirds of our carbon emissions back into our forests and soil. The Europeans and the Japanese hate it when we brag about that. Of course, we have a lot of land to reforest and they don’t. And the Greens in this country don’t like to hear about it either. It interferes with their agendas.”

“Why am I not surprised.” I exclaimed.

“As we got rich, we reforested, our agricultural footprints shrank, our birth rates decreased and we were able to make the political choices that stimulated growth that China and India have not had, up to now anyway. But they’re getting there.”

“Oh brave new world!” I said.

#

NOTE: As As I finished writing the above Max visit, the following news item popped up on my computer. I could have saved the effort.

" Climate Change: With less than two months to go before the big Copenhagen Conference on global warming, two major nations have said "no thanks" to the no-growth agenda.

Following a deal signed late Thursday between China and India , anything we might agree to do in Copenhagen is likely moot. The two mega-nations — which together account for nearly a third of the world's population — said they won't go along with a new climate treaty being drafted in Copenhagen to replace the Kyoto Protocol that expires in 2012.

They're basically saying no to anything that forces them to impose mandatory limits on their output of greenhouse gas emissions. Other developing nations, including Mexico , Brazil and South Africa , will likely reject any proposals as well.

The deal was already in trouble. Three weeks ago, the Group of 77 developing nations met in Thailand to discuss what they wanted to do about global warming. Their answer: nothing.

So, thanks to China and India , Copenhagen is dead — just as Kyoto was when it was signed in 1992, though no one knew it at the time. Without them, no global treaty on climate change will be workable.

The two nations are not only the world's most populous (with, together, more than 2 billion people), they are also the fastest-growing major countries. China is now the world's No. 1 emitter of greenhouse gases, and India is catching up fast."

Max and I were watching a newscast when the news reader told us (again) about the arrest of Roman Polanski in Switzerland . When the commercial came on, Max hit the mute button and asked, “What do you think about all that?”

I said, “Well, the SOB did jump bond and run off to Europe . Technically, he’s still got to stand before the bar of justice. But the one who it will hurt the most will be that lady he raped when she was a little girl. She’s married and has kids now. Dragging up all that prior testimony is going to be hell for that family.”

“In spades,” Max said, shaking his head. “But the Swiss have pulled a little trick here that we asked for, indirectly.”

“What’s that?”

Max sat up in his chair and clasped his hands in front of his body like he does when he is going to make a revelation. “Do you recall that our G-men have been over in Switzerland giving them absolute hell over those secret bank accounts?”

“Why sure. Our guys wanted to go on a fishing expedition in the bank files instead of pursuing accounts they thought were tainted. They really put the pressure on and forced the Swiss to go back on many years of national tradition and law. They finally got the goods on some tax dodgers, though.”

“Yes, they did.,” Max agreed. “It was another example of what the Big O has been apologizing for, kicking around the little guys because we are the big guy. Well sir, the Swiss said if we are going to cooperate with the big bad US of A on this, why not everything else? So they nabbed old Roman and said, ‘Okay, Americanos, come get ‘im.’ And some lawyers in Washington and California had an 'Oh s---! moment.'”

“A poison pill!” I exclaimed. “Hot damn! That’s a good one. And our people can’t complain…”

“Not a freaking word,” Max added. “The Swiss say, ‘You want judicial cooperation, you got it, babe!’”

Laughing, I said, “Man, the press is going to love this. If there’s a day without blood somewhere, they can always trot out this story and wring it. No more slow news days.”

“And the Big O is caught right in between,” Max pointed out. “He’s got those Hollywood autophiliacs that think he’s pretty on one side, and the moral right on the other. If he whispers a word of what can be interpreted as sympathy for Polanski, the right will skewer him. If he goes along with the prosecution, the beautiful people on the left coast will scream bloody murder.”

“What do you think he’ll do?” I asked.

“There’s only one thing he can do,” Max said, looking smug. “He’s got to go along with the law whether the accused is a street bum or Saint Anthony himself.”

“What in heck does Saint Anthony have to do with this?” I asked, frowning.

“Nothing that I know of,” Max shot back. “You got anything on him?”